Single Friends, Dating and Relationships

She told me today how she had noticed just how frustrating it is to listen to all of her friends talk about how wonderful it is to have their boyfriends! I completely understand. It is not that we are not happy for them but it certainly forces you to remember that there is no one stealing the covers at night and no one to wake up to in the morning. It is tough....but at least our friends have found good guys....it will eventually happen again for us too.

I was talking to a friend the other day and she asked me when I had last had a "real" relationship? I started thinking and I realized that it has been since about early 2001...or late 2000...I am not even sure. So it has been about six years since I have had someone who I have called my boyfriend. WOW! I had not really sat down and thought about how long I have been single. Of course I have dated in those years and even had a couple of long term "dating relationships" (he was too scared to be my boyfriend but I think it has turned out to be in my benefit!) but wow six years. I think I have forgotten how I acted when I had a boyfriend. Did I slowly start losing my friends or did I make time for my friends. I know when we meet that special someone it is hard to think of anyone but them and often times we forget to make time for our friends. Is that natural? Should I expect my friends with boyfriends to always set me to the side and only call when they have a fight and suddenly need their friends again? Did I do that to my friends back in the day when I had a boyfriend? I know that when I find a special person to spend time with again that I will remember to continue to make time for my friends. Obviously my friends have been my life for over 6 years and how could I cut them out when a special someone comes along? I hope I will be able to be a good friend and girlfriend. I guess I better get a boyfriend before I stress too much!

When I asked about that guy and if he was still dating that girl....you should not sound so sad to tell me that they are still happily dating. It is ok. I am happy for them! I like him and I am happy he is happy. You are a silly girl....trust me I am more resilient(sp?) than I act at times.

That damn movie today made me cry! I must bury all of my feelings and that is why I suddenly explode and cannot hold it in.....I do it all the time when watching movies. I am such a nerd....I guess I am just too darn emotional. I have lost him for good. It is a good thing but it is hard. We will never talk again unless we bump into each other and I think out of respect for him I will avoid that. My words are sometimes so cold and hateful. I spoke those words out of frustration but of course there was some truth as well. The only reason I even started contacting him again is b/c of the lack of contact from the person I currently have a crush on. The crush will just be a crush and I can only hope that we will stay friends. I obviously was not what he wanted but I warned him about that...yet he wanted to see for himself. I really felt like we had a connection but maybe it was all in my imagination. I suppose it was....as he has stated "All things are possible, but not all things are probable". He is out there desperately searching for someone but I feel like I could be a fit for him but I don't think he sees it. One friend told me I should be bold and honest and just tell him I felt a connection and that I have a little crush. I told her she was crazy. Why do I want to put myself out on the edge like that? I just don't think I am brave enough to do that just yet....maybe after another 1/2 a bottle of Captain Morgan I will be able to accomplish it! :) So now I have no one...a blessing, yes but I am certainly feeling alone and doing entirely too much work at work b/c I have no one to email/IM with all day long! I guess the lack of a man in my life at least allows for some job security!