a little of this and a little of that

This morning I got dressed for school and was confident that my outfit was cute. Then I got to school, looked down and recognized that my pants were not brown as I had thought but instead olive green. I did not match......my mood suddenly turned sour and I could not believe that I did not figure out my issue earlier. Oh well! At least I was comfy.

School was yet again another day of people expressing their anxiety and stress over our exams. Why the hell am I smiling and calm? I know it has nothing to do with me being prepared because I am far from it, but I think it is because I am realizing that I can do this but it may be a road with some bumps. I am tired of worrying....it is wonderful to not do that so much lately! I just wish that everyone else would try to calm down.

He came back from his trip today. He had his hair cut recently and he looks so handsome. I heard his voice today and of course he was offerring to help someone when I know that he does not have enough time to complete his own work. We are similar in that aspect.......we like to please.....we like to do the right thing. I am pretty sure that is why he still calls me........he is just trying to do the right thing. I miss the time we spent together......I wish it would have been different.

I told him about how I was hopeful that this guy would eventually take me back. He said I am not listening to what this guy is telling me and until I listen and move on, then I won't have the opportunity to meet someone new. He said "I know you are making a mistake and you know it too". He said more and it made me angry but I suppose that anger was because the truth hurts. The reality is that he is no longer interested but I am being stubborn and not listening. I am wasting my time and his time. He has enough stress in his life without worrrying about pleasing me or doing the right thing. If I care about him and respect him, then I should accept his decision.